Lisa's Trip to Labor and Delivery as told by Amy Poehler and Seth Meyers of Weekend Update

Amy: So Lisa had to go to Labor and Delivery last night...again.
Seth: Really?
Amy: You think by her third child she could figure out real labor vs. false labor. Really.
Seth: Seriously. Why did she go in this time?
Amy: Contractions.
Seth: Seriously? Hey um Lisa, you have been contracting since 15 weeks. Wow, really?
Amy: Really, I mean they are obviously not doing anything.
Seth: Seriously. Well at least they sent her home quickly.
Amy: Really? Have you been to Northside? Even though they determined she was not in active labor and due to the fact she is still considered preterm (full term is in 48 hours) they wouldn't allow her to eat or be off the monitors, nor would they give her anything to make her contractions more effective. Seriously.

Laughter is the only way I am going to make it through today and tomorrow. (If you have never seen the "Really" segment on Saturday Night Live I encourage you to visit this link http://video.aol.com/partner/hulu/saturday-night-live-weekend-update-michael-vick-really/JzH90-FkjpfQasz3uAF2-ZAC6RTvCwmV. It makes my above skit a lot more funny) I was having contractions every 4 minutes lasting a minute and I had to breathe through them. I tried everything besides medicine to get them to stop to be sure they were the real thing. After several hours, I called my midwife who told me to go to Northside. However after 5 hours there I had only dialated a centimeter from when I came in. Since they can not give me anything to make the contractions more effective they gave me the option of staying until I went into full blown labor or going home. Hmmm, staying in bed hooked up to machines where they won't let me eat or going home to my bed and eating Chic-fil-a? I am still having bouts of painful contractions, but it is nowhere near as bad as last night. I just got off the phone with Erin and I didn't have any super painful ones when I was talking to her which was super nice. Hopefully the painful contractions will either go away or break my water. I want to enjoy this last part of pregnancy but having tons of painful contractions makes it difficult.
I go to the doctor on Thursday (37 weeks! Full term!. I will keep you posted.